전통혼례를 반 겐넵의 ‘分離’―‘轉移’―‘統合’이라는 세 단계의 통과의례에 적용한다면, 親迎禮 직전의 ‘醮禮’를 (신부는 醮禮 혹은 ‘筓禮’를) ‘분리단계’로 규정할 수 있을 것이다. ‘전이단계’는 ‘大禮’부터 ‘三月廟見’ 때까지로, 이 기간 동안 신랑과 그 가족들은 신부를, 신부는 신랑을 반려자로서의 자질에 대해 평가하고 시험하게 된다. 새로운 지위로 완전히 이동하게 되는 ‘통합단계’는 ‘삼월묘현’ 의식의 이행과 아울러, 신부가 타고 온 車馬를 친정으로 돌려보내는 ‘反馬之禮’가 될 것이다. 본고에서는 우리의 傳統婚禮에 관한 風俗的·思想的 고찰을 통해, 현대인들의 문화 의식과 조화될 수 있는 傳統婚禮像의 代案을 궁구해 보았다.
우리나라를 대표하는 가장 특징적인 혼속으로는 壻留婦家婚을 들 수 있으며, 부여·고구려를 포함한 고대 국가의 보편적인 혼속으로 男歸女家인 壻屋制와, 女歸男家인 兄死娶嫂制가 병존했다. 아울러 고대 전적들의 기록에서 알 수 있듯 당시에 ‘媒妁에 의한 議婚’ 및 ‘納幣’ 등의 혼례제도가 존재했음을 알 수 있다. 대체적으로 親家와 外家를 포함한 近親婚의 婚俗이 濊族을 제외한 고대국가 전체에 만연되어 있었던 것으로 보이며, 이는 高麗代까지 이어진다.
조선 건국 후 朱子式의 혼례제도인 四禮가 본격적으로 시행되었고, 구한말까지 우리의 禮俗으로 정착되지만, 親迎制 만큼은 ‘半親迎’으로 절충되어 시행되었을 뿐, 뿌리 깊은 男歸女家 婚俗으로 인해 조선말에 이르기까지 禮俗으로 흡수되지 못하였다. 조선중기의 禮學 발달을 주도했던 家禮輯覽·四禮便覽 등은 물론 조선말의 增補四禮便覽은 親迎의 기록에 관한한 時俗에 충실했다고 볼 수 없다.
儀禮 ｢士昏禮｣에는 先秦儒家와 마찬가지로 절대적인 上下倫理 및 男尊女卑思想이 나타나 있지 않다. 그러나 前漢의 董仲舒에 이르러 儒家는 法家의 이론을 흡수하여 三綱의 윤리체계를 수립하였고, 朱子家禮가 성립된 宋代에 오면 개인의 도덕규범을 더욱 강조하기에 이른다. 이러한 유교는 사실상 이 시대에 도태될 수밖에 없다. 전통유가와 현대사회와의 부조화를 사회적·문화적인 차원에서 현대인들에게 조화롭게 흡수될 수 있게 하기 위해서는 儒敎 本然의 相互倫理的인 理念으로 회귀할 수 있어야 할 것이다. 그 바탕위에 우리 固有의 婚俗과 現代的인 風俗을 자연스럽게 혼합하여 새로운 傳統思想의 婚禮觀을 정립시킬 수 있다면, 그것이 바로 孔子가 말한 ‘文質彬彬’의 실천이 될 것이다.
When Arnold van Gennep's three phases of the rites of passage, ‘separation’―‘transition’―‘incorporation’, are applied to the traditional wedding, ‘cho-rye醮禮 (a marriage ceremony, it also can be called ‘gye-rye’ when it comes to the bride)’ right before chin-yeong-rye (a ceremony that a groom goes to a bride’s home and bring her to his home to get married) can be defined as ‘the separation’. ‘transition’ covers from ‘dae-rye大禮 (a procedure that the bride and groom bows to each other and exchange cups of alcoholic beverage in Korea)’ to ‘samwolmyohyeon三月廟見 (a bride makes a deep bow and offer her gifts to her parents-in-law and ancestors three months after her marriage)’, during which, a groom and his family evaluate a bride’s qualification as a life partner, and a bride tests a groom whether he has the makings of her life partner. ‘The incorporation’ includes the ‘samwolmyohyeon’ ceremony through which one can completely transfer oneself to a new position, and ‘banmajirye反馬之禮’ in which the horse which a bride rode is sent back to her original family. In this dissertation, through the customary and ideological consideration into the traditional wedding ceremony in Korea, the alternative model of traditional wedding in harmony with modern men’s cultural recognition was pursued.
One of the most representative marriage customs in Korea is ‘seo-ryu- bu-ga-hon壻留婦家婚 (a custom that the groom lived with the bride’s original family working as a servant until their children were all grown up)’, and as a universal marriage in the ancient kingdoms including Buyeo and Goryeo, ’seookje壻屋制 (a marriage system of Goguryeo)’ -namqwiyeoga男歸女家: a groom goes to a bride’s home to get married. And he lived with her original family and came back to his original family after their children became adult- and ‘yeogwinamga女歸男家 (a bride live in the parent-in-law’s house)’- ‘hyeongsachwisuje兄死娶嫂制 (when a man’s older brother dies the younger one lives with his sister-in-law)- coexisted. In addition, according to the ancient records there used to be a marriage system of ‘uihon議婚 (the act of matchmaking)’ and ‘napye納幣 (sending gifts to a bride’s house)’. In general, it seems like there was rampant intermarriage including all father-side family and mother-side family in every ancient kingdom of Korea. And it continued until Goryeo dynasty.
After the Joseon Dynasty established, ‘sarye四禮 (four ceremonial occasions) was implemented in full scale, and had taken its root as Korean custom until the late Joseon Dynasty. Yet, only chinyeongje親迎制 was implemented while being compromised as ‘banchinyeong半親迎 (half of chingyoengje)’, and failed to be immersed into Korean custom until the end of Joseon Dynasty due to the deep-rooted custom of ‘namgwiyeoga’. Not only ≪Garyejibram家禮輯覽 (a book on Korean courtesy)≫·≪Saryepyeonram四禮便覽 (a book on four ceremonial occasions)≫ that led the development of scholarship on manners in the middle of the Joseon Dynasty but also ≪Jeungbosaryeopyeonram增補四禮便覽 (extended version of Saryepyonram)≫ at the end of the Joseon Dynasty did not faithfully record customs in those times in regard to chin-yeong.
Likewise in advanced Confucianism, ≪Eui-rye儀禮 (a book on seventeen ceremonial occasions of Chinese ruling class)≫ <Sahonrye士昏禮> does not show absolute morals for hierarchical relations and the idea of predominance of men over women. However, by Dong Zhongshu董仲舒 of the Former Han, Confucian School adopted ideas of School of Law and set the moral system of ‘samgang三綱 (the three basic principles in human relations)’, and in the when Jujagarye朱子家禮 (Juja’s customary formalities of a family) was established during Song Dynasty, an individual's morals were more focused on. This Confucianism cannot but fall out in this era. In order for the incongruity of traditional Confucianism and the modern society to be absorbed into contemporary men in social and cultural aspects, we should go back to the original Confucian ideology of mutual morality. If unique Korean marriage customs and modern customs can be combined in a natural way and a new philosophy of traditional marriage can be established on that foundation that would be the very practice of ‘the harmony between beautiful appearance and proper contents’ argued by Confucius.
